Here I am, at the airport of Riga, looking at the pictures I took during the past five months. I still can’t believe that 154 days have passed since I took that bus to Bergamo, and then that plane to Riga. I remember I was so excited and scared, I don’t know which emotion was the strongest.
It’s difficult to use words to describe an experience like this. It would be the same as describing a sound, a smell, a memory – a lot of words, most of them pointless. The only thing I can say is that I hope life will give me another chance for doing another experience like this. I’ve learned so much, I grew so much, I changed so much and, to be honest, I’m glad I did. I hope I will keep changing.
I’ve met so many wonderful people. Some of them will stay in my mind and in my heart forever, I think. I found friends I was not expecting to find – for once, I let life surprise me. I learned how to go with the flow, to let my true self come out and show to the world, and I found acceptance instead of the rejection I feared for years.
I’ve experienced new things. I got drunk. I smoked cigarettes. I kissed random people at parties. I played beerpong. I went dancing until my feet hurt so bad I had to stop. I took spontaneous decisions and I don’t regret anything. Not a single day, not a single minute. I’ve never felt so alive like during these past five months.
I’ve traveled so much. I’ve been to seven different cities and each of them left something in my heart – or maybe it’s the opposite, I’ve left a piece of my heart in each. I’ve learned to see the world with different eyes, in some cases I’ve learned to open my eyes and look things I’ve never bothered to look at.
Of course, not everything was perfect. There were moments in which I felt so alone and overwhelmed. There were moments in which I was homesick, others in which I was heartsick, others in which I just wanted to change the past, to say some words, to talk frankly when I was too afraid to. But during the darkest hours I was never alone. I had friends with me, both near and far, and they helped me through. Together we cried and together we got back on our feet, back to enjoy what we were living, no matter all the drama and despair that could come to us.
Now I’m going home. “I’m both happy and sad and I’m still figuring out how that can be” (can you guess the quote?). But it’s okay – contradiction is normal, after all.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I’ve learned that this is a blessing – life’s fun lies in its unexpectedness. I’m sure, whatever will come, is going to be great.